


We’re Not Okay (We Promise)

by Anne_Hathagay



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, M/M, finn is a douchebag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:54:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24928747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anne_Hathagay/pseuds/Anne_Hathagay
Summary: After Shelby got caught sleeping with Puck the Troubletones are dismissed and rejoin with the New DirectionsSongsThe Ghost of You by My Chemical RomanceYou’re My Best Friend by QueenI’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical RomanceTrigger warnings for abuse, blood and homophobic language
Relationships: Josh Constantine/Fynn Sargeant, Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Kudos: 13





	We’re Not Okay (We Promise)

Monday

“I can’t believe Miss Corcoran slept with Puck and now we’re here listening to Rachel wail to Finnept and watch Quinn silently pine after Rachel.” Santana says

“How did Figgins even find out?” Sugar asks

“Uh apparently he overheard their conversation in the hall.” Mercedes says

“I’m glad to have my friends back.” Josh says

“It’s kind of hard to go back to being invisible after what I’ve been told.” Santana says

“Okay. I’m gonna leave it there.” Josh says as Mr Shue walks in and writes Duets on the board

“But Mr Shue we’ve already done a duets week.” Santana says

“Ah but here’s where it’s different you’re gonna write your own duets and then I’ll pick a partner now get to it. Really get into your dead seated emotional baggage.” Mr Shue says

In the hallway

“Rumour say that you’re a lesbian can you confirm or deny those rumours?” JBI asks

“No comment.” Santana says

“What about the rumours Josh Whyatt is gay?” JBI asks

“Listen here twerp. I don’t know who told you this but when I find out I’m gonna make them regret the day they were born.” Santana says crushing his mic in her hand

“I run the story during sectionals then your days of running this school are over.” JBI says walking away smug smile on his face

“What are you gonna do?” Brittany whispers in her ear

“I really don’t know, I know one thing though I have to tell Josh.” Santana says

In math class Santana slides Josh a note it read ‘meet me in the girls locker room in 2 minutes’

He slide his answers it read ‘done’

“Mr Noonman can I go to the bathroom?” Santana asks

“Of course Santana.” He says

“Mr Noonman can I also go to the bathroom?” Josh asks

“Okay but both of you come straight back.” He says

In the girls locker room

“Why’s up Santana?” He asks

“So JBI knows about that thing we don’t like talking about.” Santana says

“I’m gonna kill the little shit.” Josh says 

“As much as I want to there has to be a subtler way of doing this so the story is the least damaging it can be.” Santana says

In the Glee Club that afternoon Josh was still seething with rage, not even writing a song about being damaged could help him and on top of that Finn kept bugging him. “What do you want Finnocent!” He snapped

“Do you wanna leave him alone!” Santana snaps at him

“You know if you put 5 minutes of that anger into your singing you’d probably get more solos. Do you too really have nothing better to do with your lives!” Finn snaps

“You don’t fuck all about my life!” Josh snaps

“I know you’re just a scared little boy who happens to be able to play rhythm guitar well! And is constantly acting like an emo!” Finn snaps

“You don’t fuck all about why I’m this way!” Josh snaps

“We all know what Finn hates you Josh because you’re threat to his leading man in fact, that's why he shuts down any idea Blaine has he sees Quinn as a threat to his girlfriend and he’s still afraid of Kurt and Fynn he refuses to let go of his grudge with Puck. So how about you shut the fuck up and let us write without having to listen to your mouth breathing because the world doesn’t revolve around you. The whole reason why we’re here is because he and Rachel need 10 people to provide back up while they get to be the stars well sometimes, maybe someone else should get to be the lead.” Brittany says her eyes full of rage

“You wanna know why I’m so angry? Let me show you.” Josh says pulling off his shirt to reveal a myriad of bruises and scars. “Knife.” He says pointing to a scar on his abs. “Fractured.” He says pointing to his right wrist. “Gunshot wound.” He says pointing to a 9 by 19 parabellum shaped hole on his left hand side. “Do you know who did all this? My father. My own father shot me.” Josh says pulling his shirt back on

Then Mr Shue walks in. “Does anyone have any song before we start writing our Duets?” He asks

“I do but it works best in the auditorium.” Josh says

“Lead the way.” Mr Shue says

In the auditorium

“This song expresses how I wanna feel most days.” Josh says as the band starts playing The Ghost Of You by My Chemical Romance

“I never said I'd lie and wait forever  
If I died, we'd be together now  
I can't always just forget her  
But she could try”

Santana can see the hurt in his eyes as he sings the chorus  
“At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are never coming home, never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are never ever...  
Ever…”

“Get the feeling that you're never  
All alone and I remember now  
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies  
She dies”

“At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are never coming home, never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me  
Never coming home, never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me”

“If I fall  
If I fall down”

“At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are never coming home, never coming home  
Never coming home, never coming home  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me  
Never coming home, never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
For all the ghosts that are never gonna…” as the song finishes his eyes are full of pain and a single tear is running down his cheek. “You see Finn, this song tells you exactly how I feel everyday feels like the end of the world.” He says before walking off stage as Santana gives chase and gives a hug

“Come on Josh that’s not true so you get a couple of scars it’s not the end of the world we all know Brittany isn’t the brightest star in the sky.” Finn says and the auditorium goes deathly silent if there’s one thing you don’t do it’s call Brittany stupid in front of Santana or Josh or worse both Santana and Josh are held back by Mr Shue and Mike to stop them from killing Finn

“Count yourself lucky that they’re holding us back because there would be no mercy for Finn!” Santana screams and everyone holds their breath waiting for the two people to get free of Mr Shue and Mike’s grip

Tuesday

Brittany has no idea what she’s going to do about Santana’s problem to the point where she’s spent the last 20 minutes pacing the same ten steps in the choir room but the upside was that Josh and Santana where being nice as they were focusing all their rage into their big gay problem as well into Josh’s song Brittany had suggested to the two about coming out ahead of the curve but that was big no no

They were determined to stop the story from running. It couldn't be that hard right? Right?

Santana and Josh weren’t paying any attention in AP English they’d taken to play Tic Tac Toe and devising scheme on how to stop the story from running

When the bell rang both of them shot in the air in fright as they’d been having an intense ruler sword fight. Once they’d stopped freaking out they chuckled. “Oh Mercedes if I didn’t love you a friend.” Josh says to himself

Mercedes smiles at them “what’s going on with you? And I know it’s much deeper than those on your chest.” She says

Both Santana and Josh's eyes dart left and right across the crowded hallway and that it’s much too packed to have a conversation of this type here so the three dive into an empty classroom. ‘How’d we end up under these planets?’ Santana thinks to herself

“All right, enlighten me. What is going on? Trouble in the love bubbles?” Mercedes asks

“Yeah. Wait did you say love bubble?” Josh asks

“Don’t pretend I haven’t walked in your private guitar lessons with Fynn or you and Brittany ‘secretly kissing’ when I was a Cheerio. You two have really shitty excuses too.” Mercedes says giggling at their flustered looks

“We’re not gay. Remember that time Santana was fighting you over Puck or I was fighting Sam over Quinn.” Josh says

“I never said you weren’t but you’d be a fool to deny your love for Brittany and Fynn.” Mercedes says as the tardy bell rings.

“We might as well skip now.” Josh says

“Talk to me, I wanna help.” Mercedes says

Meanwhile halfway across campus Brittany and Fynn were engaged in a fierce game of basketball. “So how's Santana?” He asks as he goes for dunk and misses and land on his ass

“She's good. How’s Josh?” She asks

“He’s still angry at the world. We should do something.” Fynn says as they put the ball down and sit down

“We could write a duet for them?” Brittany suggests

“That’s a good idea.” Fynn says 

“Next basket wins.” Brittany says

“Game on.” Fynn says standing up

Wednesday

“Fynn rode the bus today.” Josh says sitting down in math class

“I know so did Brittany I miss my sweet lady kisses.” Santana says

“Tic Tac Toe?” Josh asks

Santana smirks. “You ready to lose again?” She asks

“Are you?” He asks

During the lesson they shoot a note to Mercedes which stated that if their parents kicked them out that they could stay at Mercedes house

After maths Santana heads out to her car to find Brittany already there. “Sorry babe no making out today instead we’re going to see my parents there both home for the first time in forever. So I’m gonna do it.” She says

“Do what San?” Brittany asks confused

“The big thing that Josh and I have been terrified of doing.” Santana says

“You’re gonna join the big rainbow today? Yay!” Brittany says squealing

Santana smiles wide as they pull into her driveway. All she needed in the world was Brittany to be proud of her because she was Santana's whole world. As the car stops she puts her head on the steering wheel and flicks off the radio. I might be coming out to them. But I can’t do this for everyone once they all know everything I’ve spent years building up will coming crashing down and that I’ll lose everything.” Santana says

“You could never lose me, Josh is your best friend, you're never gonna lose and the Glee Club is full of misfits so you’ll never lose them.” Brittany says taking Santana’s hands in her

“So if my parents kicked me out you'd still be with me?” Santana asks

Brittany didn't hesitate. “I'll stay with you until the end.” She says kissing her

Santana was scared when she’d first seen Puck's leg twisted in three different directions. She had been very scared when she’d told Brittany she’d felt right now she was down right terrified. She calls out to her parents who come to the living room to see why their daughter wasn’t in school.

“Mami there's someone I'd like to meet.” Santana says

“Who? Brittany, we've already met her and now go on back to school.” Hector Lopez says

“No it's Brittany I'm talking about. Would you just sit down so I can what I need to do?” Santana says Once Santana’s parents were situated she grabbed Brittany’s hand and held it tight. Her voice shook as she spoke. “Alright Mami, Papi, this is Brittany. My girlfriend. I love her very much and I wanted you to meet her.”

Again Santana’s parents were confused. “But Mija I thought you and Brittany started dating in middle school? Didn’t you guys kiss during our RV trip that summer?”

Brittany immediately wrapped a borderline teary Santana in the tightest hug imaginable. “I can’t believe you knew. Mercedes knew too. This makes zero sense!”

“Everyone who knows you together probably knows Mija,” Santana’s mother spoke while joining the hug. “Everyone loves you just the same. But if they don’t they aren’t worth having around anyway.”

“That’s right,” Santana’s father agreed as he too wrapped his arms around the young girl. “Everything’s gonna be just fine.”

Santana giggled but she couldn’t stop thinking about JBI. She needed a plan that could save her from having to come out. This might have gone well but the next time might be a disaster.”

She needed to have a conversation with Lady Hummel.

Wednesday Night: Lima Bean Parking Lot

Kurt climbed out of his car and made his way to the unmistakably red Prius that belonged to none other than Santana Lopez. He looked around to make sure it was only her. He had almost not come, afraid that he was being pranked. Santana’s message however had sounded urgent.

The cold air chilled the boy as he pulled his sweater tighter around his body. A slight clicking noise of a door unlocking sounded from the small red car telling him to climb in. Once he was inside Santana took off her sunglasses and the hat drawn down to cover her face.

“Alright Satan, not that I don’t enjoy your company but why am I here?”

“Well Kurt, you’re the only one I could think to ask about this. I may or may not have a JBI situation that threatens my very life inside school walls. Now before I tell you about it you have to swear that this conversation doesn’t leave my car, understood?”

Kurt nodded meekly. “I swear on the soon to be plotted grave of Finn Hudson.”

Santana smiled. “Good. Now when did you officially come out at school?”

Kurt snorted. “Everyone knew, but I’d say it was when I told Mercedes that I wasn’t in to Rachel because I was gay.”

Santana laughed. “I always forget that Mercedes was into you! Anyway, so you just came out on your own?”

Kurt nodded.

“So no one forced you out or anything you just did.”

Kurt nodded again. Santana slammed her head on the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk to you Kurt. Apparently being a constant bitch really comes back to bite you in the ass.”

Confusion and concern took over Kurt’s face. “What’s going on Santana is someone threatening you?”

“I saw what happened to you at this school, if I get outed on Saturday I’ll be dead and Britt won’t fare much better. They’ll attack her for all of the things I love most about her and she won’t be able to take it.”

Kurt swallowed at Santana’s rant. He mulled over her words slowly before responding. Everything he had thought about Santana and Brittany had just been proven in the worst way.

“Santana, who's outing you? Maybe we can stop it. I mean there has to be a way right?”

Santana shook her head. “JBI isn’t scared of me anymore and we’ll be performing when the story runs. I either come out in the next two days or I get outed Saturday night.”

Silent tears welled in Santana’s eyes allowing Kurt to see the real her. The one that was scared of everything she knew about herself. She seemed however to be most scared for Brittany and the backlash she would face. Everyone knew Brittany liked girls too, but now it would be in the open.

Kurt reached his hand out and grabbed Santana’s. He was surprised when instead of smacking him away she gripped his hand.

“I’m scared Kurt and the only reason I’m here is because I don’t have any solutions. Will you help me?”

Kurt nodded once again. “Why not just come out ahead of the curve. I know how awful it can be to be forced out of the closet. At least this way you can create your own narrative.”

“Brittany said that too. But even the kids in glee would hate me more than they already do. Look at how I’ve treated you Kurt, it’s not like I’ve been much nicer to anyone else.”

Kurt didn’t respond. Instead he remembered something Brittany had asked him earlier the day before. Instead of telling Santana he decided to keep it to himself. He didn’t want to upset either girl.

Behind him the back door of the car opened and Kurt spun to see who was sliding into the back seat.

“Kurt, Satan, good afternoon.”

Kurt chuckled.

Then Santana's phone buzzes and she answers it. “Hey Josh, it's not a good time.” She says

“Santana help.” He says he sound like he’s struggling to breath.

“Josh what’s wrong? Where are you?” She asks but doesn’t get a reply getting Artie to do his tech wizard shit she find Josh unconscious and covered in what she assumed was her own blood. Lift him up slowly she puts him on the backseat and not wanting to risk a doctor seeing him she took him to the next best thing here dad. “Dad help!” She yells in Spanish

Her dad comes running outside to see Santana covered in blood. “Santana what happened?” He asks in perfect Spanish

“I don’t know I found him like this.” She says

“Take him inside.” Hector says as Santana cleans the blood of his face Hector works to pull the bullet out of his shoulder. Then he wakes up.

“What the hell happened to you?” Santana asks

“Well I told you my fathers an abusive prick right this is what you get when you tell said abusive dad that you’re gay.” Josh says before spitting some blood out. “I’m missing a tooth.” He says

“Son how did you get a 9 by 19 parabellum in your shoulder?” Hector asks

“Well my dad shot me.” He says before screaming at Hector pulls the bullet out and puts pressure on the wound. 

“So you’re dad kicked the crap out of you for being gay?” Santana ask

“Yeah.” Josh says

“I thought Abuela was bad.” Santana says mopping the rest of the blood off his face and neck as Hector lifts up his lip

“Yeah you’re right there is a tooth missing.” Hector says

“No to alarm anyone but the room seems to be spinning.” Josh says

“Did your father hit you in the head with any kinds of blunt object?” Hector asks

“Yeah he hit me with his walking stick.” Josh says

“It's a mild concussion. You stay here all day tomorrow. I’m fact you can stay here as long as you want.” Hector says

“Okay.” Josh says before falling asleep

Thursday

“Mr Shue I’ve finished my duet.” Fynn says

He reads over the sheet music. “Brittany, this has your name all over it.” He says

[Fynn]  
“Ooh, you make me live  
Whatever this world can give to me  
It's you, you're all I see  
Ooh, you make me live now honey  
Ooh, you make me live”

[Brittany]  
“You're the best friend  
That I ever had  
I've been with you such a long time  
You're my sunshine  
And I want you to know  
That my feelings are true  
I really love you  
You're my best friend”

[Fynn]  
“Ooh, you make me live”

[Brittany (Fynn)]  
“I've been wandering round  
But I still come back to you  
In rain or shine  
You've stood by me girl  
I'm happy at home (happy at home)  
You're my best friend”

[Fynn]  
“Ooh, you make me live  
Whenever this world is cruel to me  
I got you to help me forgive  
Ooh, you make me live now honey  
Ooh, you make me live”

“I've been wandering round  
But I still come back to you  
In rain or shine  
You've stood by me boy  
I'm happy at home (happy at home)  
You're my best friend”

[Both]  
“You're the first one  
When things turn out bad  
You know I'll never be lonely  
You're my only one  
And I love the things  
I really love the things that you do  
You're my best friend”

[Brittany]  
“Ooh, you make me live”

[Both]  
“I'm happy, happy at home  
You're my best friend  
Oh  
Oh, you're my best friend  
Ooh, you make me live  
Ooh, you're my best friend”

“That was excellent guys I really enjoyed that. Hold up where’s Josh he was supposed to perform today?” Mr Shue asks

“Sorry Mr Shue completely escaped my mind Josh want to an My Chemical Romance concert in Indiana and he’ll be back tomorrow.” Santana lies

“Where is he really?” Fynn asks her

“At my house in the geust room sleeping off a grade one concussion.” Santana says

“How the hell did he get one of those?” Brittany asks

“I’d ask his dad if I were you it seems he enjoys beating his gay son to within an inch of his life.” Santana says as Kurt and Finn perform

“I’m sorry Mr. Shue I can’t do this with him. I’m not gay give me Santana or Rachel.” Finn says

“Homophobic as always.” Santana says rolling her eyes at Finn

Friday

“Mr. Shue I’m ready but I don’t have a partner”. Josh says walking in with a slight limp and sunglasses on

Mr Shue reads over his song. “I can think of only one person who could sing this with you. Santana get up here.” He says as Josh does a little fist pump

“I call this song I’m Not Okay (I Promise).” Josh says as the band starts playing

You

[Santana]  
“Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.  
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.  
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,  
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?” As Santana finishes the first verse she shoots Brittany a wink and Josh does the same to Fynn 

“I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
You wear me out”

[Josh]  
“Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.  
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.  
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your girlfriend took,”

[Josh (Santana)]  
“What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?  
(I'm not okay)  
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means  
(I'm not okay)  
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook  
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!”

[Both]  
“I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
You wear me out”

“Forget about the dirty looks  
The photographs your partner took  
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed”

“I'm okay  
I'm okay!  
I'm okay, now  
(I'm okay, now)”

[Santana (Josh)]  
“But you really need to listen to me  
Because I'm telling you the truth  
I mean this, I'm okay!  
(Trust Me)” as the band plays the hook Santana pulls Brittany to her asks catches her lips in a searing kiss and Josh pulls Fynn up and kiss him hard and passionately as they sing the song their spouses dance like crazy people in time with the beat

[Both (Josh)]  
“I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
Well, I'm not okay  
I'm not o-fucking-kay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
(Okay)”

“Wow that was very powerful.” Mr Shue says clapping

“Um Mr Shue Santana and I have a few announcements. I let her go first since my story is a bit more complex.” Josh says

“So I’m just gonna come right out and say it. I’m a lesbian.” Santana says breathing out heavily

“Well it’s about time.” Quinn says

“So then Santana’s a fucking lesbo so I was what just another lay to you!” Finn yell at Santana

“Finn calm down. Before this gets seriously bad for your face.” Puck says seeing how Josh’s anger is boiling to the surface

“My turn. So I’m gay and I took a beating for it last night after I came out to my parents.” Josh says pulling off his sunglasses to reveal his left eye was swollen shut. “Aside from the black eye I have a shattered ankle from where dad stamped on it. I had a bullet removed from my left shoulder. And I have a lovely thigh shaped bruise across my abs.” Josh says listing his various injuries

“Don’t forget your cracked ribs.” Santana says

“Oh yeah 3 cracked ribs and a hairline fracture on my third knuckle on my left hand oh and a concussion from where my dad hit me in the side of the head with his cane.” Josh says finishing the list of injuries

“Oh your tooth.” Santana says

“Oh my bad he knocked my tooth out as well.” Josh says. “Is that everything?” He asks

“I think so aside from the heinous amount of blood I had to mop off you.” Santana says

“Josh I’m so sorry that happened to you.” Mr Shue says hugging him.

“So what? He gets the snot beaten out of him for being a fairy? Does this mean we can’t do anything anymore because Josh is too afraid.” Finn says looking pissed at that someone is stealing his spotlight.

“You know Finn I think you should leave because I think you’ve lost your way. Come back when you’re more accepting.” Mr Shue says

“Fine! Didn’t wanna be around a bunch of fags and dykes anyway!” He yells grabbing his bag and walking out slamming the door behind this makes Josh jump.

“Hey it’s okay.” Santana says

“You promise me that he’ll never hurt me again?” Josh adks between the tears

“I promise.” Santana says hugging him

“Not to steal Josh and Santana’s spotlight but Quinn and I are dating.” Rachel says

This perks Josh up. “Haha Puckerman you owe me $20!” Josh yells as Puck begrudgingly reaches for his wallet

“I’m sorry why does Puck owe you 20 bucks?” Quinn asks

“We as I’m the Glee Club had a bet running on how long it’d take you two to get together I said Faberry before sectionals so I won.” Josh says Puck begrudgingly hands him a $20 bill. “Thank you.” He says putting it into his wallet

In the hallway Josh and Santana twist Brittany and Fynn into kisses that are dipped low ad as they pull them they flash JBI a lock that says ‘you can't touch us now’ oh and the New Directions won sectionals Josh and Santana like to think that their original song I'm Not Okay (I Promise) help them win the rest like to believe that it was because Rachel was finally singing her unrepressed feelings for Quinn

Josh’s dad was arrested for abuse and hate crimes against Josh the testimony from Josh combined with all the evidence Hector collected when patching him along with his testimony as the doctor that attended to Josh it was a slam dunk case.

Senior year couldn’t have gone better apart from all the bits that went wrong


End file.
